the Hamster Dance
by Lady Starscream
Summary: G1 Songfic:: You all remember the infamous Macarena Incident a while back, right? well Jazz has a new favorite song to annoy Prowl with! It's the Hamster Dance! And it has led to more insanity, now. 3 new chapters and more pranks! hoboy!
1. the Hamster Dance

Author's notes: If you want to hear the song that goes with this, it can be found on my livejournal at a href"ladystarscream./90168.html"ladystarscream./90168.html/a

I hope the link works. If not, you should be able to copy and paste it into your browser's address window. just one warning, though. The music auto-loads. So you might have to hit pause if does while the page is still loading.

Anyway, enough of my rambling. Hope you enjoy the fic!

* * *

"Prooowwwwwllll" Jazz made it all sad and drawn out when he said his bondmate's name like that. And he only did that when he wanted attention.

Prowl, of course, was sitting at his computer going over the day's reports. Jazz sauntered up behind him, leaning over the Datsun's shoulder. "Do you have to do reports now?"

Prowl flicked his doorwings "Yes."

"Oooh. One word responses." Jazz thought. "Must be either annoyed or deeply concentrating."

He pouted at his bondmate. Prowl saw his reflection in the monitor screen, and sighed. "I'm sorry, Jazz, but I have to get these reports done."

Prowl didn't sound sorry. He sounded, in fact, annoyed. Jazz tried pouting harder. Prowl's gaze never left the computer. Jazz considered turning to monitor off, but that would result in Prowl getting truly upset with him, and that wasn't his goal. "It's not like I'm asking him to stop working completely." Jazz thought. "I just want some attention." Prowl knew that anytime his bondmate felt "ignored" he would try something to get Prowl's attention away from the reports. It was a wonder he got any work done, he mused. Finally, Jazz moved away.

Prowl had allready told him that when he was doing reports, he did not want to be bothered, teased, or distracted, and that when he finally got his work done, then he could relax and give the Porsche attention. He had though maybe Jazz would resort to one of his sneakier tricks, like teasing Prowl's doorwings till the tactician was wound way too tightly to continue with his typing, but this time, Prowl only heard the Porche flop onto the nearby couch. He inwardly thanked Primus and hoped Jazz would actually leave him alone. Sure, his bondmate might be mad at him over this, but he would forgive him.  
Eventually.

Then Prowl heard it. The music started innocently enough, though annoying as it was.

_"De Da De da Da da De Da, la da dee dee doh, ladadadeedeedeededadadadadadadodo..."_

Jazz leaned back on the couch and grinned, watching Prowl flick his doorwings at the high-pitched voice. It sounded like a human who had inhaled just a bit too much helium.

When the baseline and drums came in, Prowl cast his black and white bondmate an irritated glance. "Jazz, please turn that down."

Jazz grinned in reply. "What? I'm relaxin, man." he stifled a chuckle. The Macarena had been banned from the ark because of how annoying it was, and there had been other songs Prowl considered just as annoying. But he hadn't heard the Hamster Dance yet...

_"ladadadeedeedeededadadadadadadodo...Yee-ha!"_

Jazz chuckled, although it was covered up by the rather loud music.

The porche leaned back, head bobbing in time to the rythm of the music. Prowl glared at his computer screen, trying to concentrate. Jazz turned the volume up a little more.

_"Here we go. Ladadeedadadeedee, ladadadeedadoh. ladadeededadedadedadohdoh"_

Jazz grinned watching Prowl's doorwings draw up. Ever-so-slowly. They flicked once, twice.

Jazz moved one hand through the air, like an orchestra conductor in time to the rythm, grinning widely.

Prowl's wings flicked again in annoyance. He typed faster, then paused, trying to remember what he was going to type, fingers hovering over the keyboard.

Jazz noticed. "success!" he thought. He grinned and stood up. "Time to really get his attention."

The porche grinned at the back of his bondmate's head as he started moving from one foot to the other. It was kind of like a variation on the chibi dance, or something called the trans-dance Jade had told him about. Something some fans did at a convention, once. He switched to doing the cabbage patch when he got tired of that, then went back to the chibi-dance, grinning the entire time, watching Prowl's reflection in the monitor.

_"Allright everybody, now here we go. It's a brand-new version of the do-ci-do..."_

Prowl GLARED at his bondmate's reflection, still trying to rembmer what he was going to say next in his report.

_"Just stomp your feet and clap your hands, c'mon everybody it's the hamster dance."_

Prowl facepalmed.

It wasn't so much the porche's dancing that was annoying, it was that he was being WAY too gleeful about it.

_"Bounce in time to the beat, hey..."_

Jazz spun and shook his hips, then turned again to grin at Prowl, who had turned his chair around to outright glare at him.

_"you don't even have to move your feet. Just shake your thing let's see you move, now skitter around and feel the groove."_

Jazz wiggled his hips exaggeratedly, still grinning. "Aw c'mon, you need to unwind a little!" he yelled over the music.

_"I'll unwind you..."_ Prowl thought. He couldn't even think over the abnoxiously loud high-pitched, nasal vocals.

_"Yee-ha!"_

Prowl glared daggers. J

azz danced over, ignoring the annoyed flicker of Prowl's wings, which were twitching more often, now, (almost constantly) in aggrivation.

"Can ya understand em, or should I turn it up some more?" Jazz yelled. Prowl opened his mouth to say something, then realised he hadn't been listening to it. It sounded like a foreign language or something.

_"deedadeedadeedadeedaladadadadadee, ladadedadeedeedadeedadeedahdohdoh..."_

Jazz just watched Prowl's expression go from annoyed to confused to..

"click, thud"

passed out.

"Well, that wasn't exactly what I'd expected." the Porsche told Prowl. "But if it gets ya away from your computer." he grinned as the song finished playing. He danced over and leaned in. "And maybe when you wake up, you can give your loving, caring..." he planted a kiss with each word "cherishing, loyal, loving bondmate some lovin." Jazz planted a final kiss on his audial and went back to his dancing.

ooo000ooo

Endnotes: Sorry, but my headcharacter Prowl ran away as soon as I got the fic going. I think he's mad at me now. XDDDDDDD Although, Jazz was more than happy to pop up and take over the fic. HeeHeeHee. :-)

Also, the Trans-Dance came from some art someone did, but I unfortunately can't remember their name. It's also a video on YouTube of a bunch of us cosplayers doing the Trans Dance at BotCon 08. (I'm the one dressed in pink, as Elita-1)

Hope you enjoyed! The more reviews I get, the more chance I'll continue this!


	2. Timberrrrr!

Author's Notes: I was going to leave this as a oneshot, but every time I hear this song, something else pops up and demands to be written. I think this is going to end up like my other fic, "April Fools Are Fools, Allways" went. LOL. This is so much fun to write. XD. and it's about time the Ark had another round of prank wars. Mwuhahahahaha!

(is having waaaaay too much fun with this. XD)

There's only one fancharacter in here, Jade. She's mine. She's a femmeseeker who's rose and blue colored. Other than that I don't own Transformers. :-) Just her.

* * *

Jade walked into the Ark's control room, Blaster and Jazz following behind. The song had just ended when carly looked up at the trio "Oh, I love that song!" she called.  
Jade just grinned, looking at Prowl, who was (thankfully) on the other side of Optimus Prime. "Blaster, play it again!" the jet said (all too gleefully). "Comin right up!" the boombox rewound the tape and hit "Play.  
The "Hamster Dance" filled the room, and Blaster turned the volume up a little more.

Spike and Carly both grinned and enjoyed the music. Jade grinned as Prowl facepalmed. Prime just gave the jet a "What are you up to now?" look. Jazz started doing dance moves, and the jet just did the side-to-side mini-dance steps. Blaster bobbed his head in time to the rythm.  
Jade grinned, looking at Prowl.

"Aint nothin' like some good music!" Blaster said over the music. Jade could've sworn Prime just sent her a glare. Jazz grinned "5...4...3..." Jade cackled as Prowl started to wobble. "Timbeerrrrrr!" Jade yelled.  
THUD!  
Prime looked over at the unconcious Prowl, then back at the trio. But before he could say anything, Jade yelled "RUN!" and the trio fled, cackling. Prime glanced over and down at where Prowl was sprawled on the flooring. "Is... he okay?" Carly asked tenatively, looking like she too wanted to run. Or that she was sorry about this happening, one of the two.  
"He'll be allright." Prime answered. "But why do I have a feeling that was a little less than accidental?" his gaze focused on the hall the trio had dissapeared down. Spike looked at Carly wityh a clueless expression, who shrugged. Then Spike smirked slightly, like he suddenly realised the punchline to some unspoken inside joke.

"What're you up to now?" Carly whispered, thankful she'd turned her back to the Autobot leader. "Hm? oh, nothing. I was just remembering last time this happenned." Spike answered. "Oh no you are not, mister! you are not getting involved in any more pranks wars. You rember what happenned last time." she mock-scolded. Then gave Prime a glance and lowered her voice leaning in "Why, what did you have planned?" she asked, expression nothing but serious. "Oh, I dunno." Spike shrugged. The two nodded to Prime and walked away, making some kind of excuse, quickly forgotten to both as they made their way deeper into the Ark...


	3. Flamin' Mad Rig

A/N: You see, this is what happens when I have the Hamster Dance on my media player, on repeat...

* * *

Prime was annoyed. He stood in front of Teletraan-1 waiting for the 'guilty party' to show up for their daily patrol. Sunsteaker and Sideswipe just blinked their optics off then on again as they walked in. "Well?" Prime demanded. The duo exchanged a look, then Sideswipe shrugged. "Umm... You look... good?" he looked at his brother for approval. Prime gave them both a look. "what is this... stuff?" he motioned to the decals adorning the front and sides of his cab.

"They're called flames, prahme." Ironhide sounded from behind him. "When didjya git the new look? looks good on..." the red van trailed off when Prime gave him a stern look and eyeshifted to glance at the twins. "...oh. Raght. Ah'll just be shuttin' up, now."

Prime folded his arms and tried his best to look crossly at the two twins. "This..." he motioned to his new 'flame' paint job "Is not amusing in the slightest. And when I dicover who is responsible for this..." he leaned in slightly. "which I WILL." he put emphasis on those last three words "They will learn the true meaning of punishment. Do I make myself clear?"

Normally Prime wouldn't have to resort to such intimidation tactics himself, what's what he had Prowl for. Unfortunately, the tactician and second in command was still currently unconcious in the repairbay after last night's... impromptu dance party.

"Uh.. yes sir." Sunstreaker nodded, Sideswipe joining him and looking as innocent as the day the two misbegotten pitspawns were sparked. Prime gave them one more scrutinising look then announced crisply "Dismissed." The two walked away.

Sideswipe could be heard asking Sunstreaker "I wonder what all that was about."

"I dunno." the yellow twin replied "But you better not be getting yourself involved in any misplanned mischief."

Prime strained to hear the last couple of words. "Don't worry, Sunny, I won't. At least, not without asking you to help."

"Yeah right, like I'd help your sorry aft, idiot"

"Nice to know you love me too, bro"

"Shut up, slaghead..."

* * *

And so it has begun...

runs


	4. Hair Today, err, Gone Tomorrow?

OMG! this thing just ate my author's notes! Anyway, it was three in the morning, and I had the Hamster Dance on repeat on my media player, and Ratchet anbd Wheeljack kinda popped up in my headspace and went (well, Wheeljack did) "Ooh, we want in on the fanfic!"

So, here it is. Enjoy.

* * *

"SIIIIDESWIIIIIPPPPEEE! SO HELP ME IF I CATCH YOU SLAGGIN' ANYWHERE NEAR MY REPAIRBAY EVER AGAIN I AM GOING TO KILL YOU THEN REPROGRAM YOU INTO A PORTABLE TRASH RECYCLING COMPACTOR AND MOBILE SMELTING UNIT!"

Jade blinked as Ratchet stalked out of the repairbay, practically trailing smoke out of his audials. The femmeseeker had been called down to the control room by Optimus Prime himself after the last couple of pranks, and that included what Blaster, Jazz, and she had done with the... music and making Prowl pass out earlier. The jet tried to stifle her mad snickering, but it just came out as giving the white and red...

ahem, medic some really big chibi-eyes. Ratchet fingered the red stuff attached to his helmet. "What is this stuff!?" he demanded, pulling at the long stringy red stuff annoyedly.

"ermm.. uhh.." Jade looked at prime with a "Help me before I explode with laughter!" look.

Prime tried to swallow any emotion and calmy replied "I believe humans call it... hair." although the tiniest hint of amusement did creep into his voice. Ratchet's horrified expression didn't help any. "But how do I get it off!" he practically bawled, pulling it out then up, making Jade imagine frankenstein then imagining Ratchet with a bright red mowhawk.

The jet Promtly turned her back to them and proceeded to have a coughing fit.

like a choking hyena.

"BWAHAHAHA!!"

Ratchet growled under his breath, and Prime sighed. "It's quite allright, Ratchet, you're not the only person these pranksters 'got'. he pointed to his new flame decals. Ratchet glared at Jade's back. "Jade."

The femme held up a hand like "hang on for a second." trying to catch her breath. She had managed to hold in most of the laughter, but her shaking shoulders and wings were a giveaway she was silently laughing still. She leaned against a nearby stalagtite.

She turned around, took one look at the pair and collapsed into gigglefits again.

"Ah...I'm sorry... but...aheeheehee!... ahem. You just..." she glanced back and snorted back laughter, trying to keep a straight face.

And keep her optics off Ratchet's long...erm-red hair.

She looked at the flooring instead. "I've been here the whole time. I have no idea who's doing this, and I seriously hope they don't aim any of this at me cause the..." she pointed with a finger, trying to keep her voice from wavering with barely restrained snickering as she glanced up at him "I would... hate.. to have... a...

"brightlycoloredmowhawk shnnrkkkkk..." she clapped a hand over her mouth.

Wheeljack came out of the repairbay looking just as peeved. Only his 'hair' had been arranged in those little geisha-style buns on either side of his head (his earfins) a-la-princess leia, but complete with ribbons and chopsticks. And face paint. Jade's optics about bugged out.

She just turned around and zombie-walked out of the room.

About five seconds later, ear-piercing cakling could be heard from around the corner.

"BWAHAHAHEEEEHEHHEEEEEEEEEEEEHEHEHEHEAHAHAHAHAHA"

She reappeared a moment later, clearing the static from her vocaliser.

So sorry." she told the floortiles. "I had to get that out of my..." she glanced up and made a strangled noise. "...system."

She turned back to Prime. "I'll do everything I can to help you stop this prankster." she declared quickly.

"Prime." Wheeljack complained "What am I gonna do about getting this... stuff off of me?" (heaven only knows how the prankster found a tarp or whatever it was big enough to make the... whatever it was supposed to be. A robe, maybe?) Prime didn't say anything, and Jade suspected he was also trying to hold back laughter. He finally replied with "I'm sorry, Wheeljack, but I can't help you there. But I'm more than confident you're intellegent enough to figure out a solution to both of your problems." He stated in his most "confident leader"-ish voice.

"Yeah, Nair." Jade blurted under her breath, then quickly walked away.

"I'll be investigating." she called over her shoulder, waving. Then she was gone.

* * *

Reviews are allways welcomed! Thanks! :-)


End file.
